Saturday, September 27, 2008

The birth story

this story has some minor scary moments. it has taken me some time to get it all down and processed. If you know me you know that close call stories are stories i don't like to read or hear.  i feel like they flaunt one's joyus outcome in the face of a mother that had a loss. an bring to question the very thing we fear --if only the circumstance was different than our outcome could have been different. OSD's story isn't so much a close call story as thank you universe thing but some might see it as a close call. and i don't blame any one for skipping it over. 

I went in to labor on my own at around 2:45 am... i woke up with some good strong contractions.

did some breathing through them... not so bad. got up wen to the bathroom and i was bleeding. NOT GOOD.

called L& D and spoke with a PA told her i was coming in and paging Dr. Hellraiser on my way.

woke up watson. got dressed and told  mom we were leaving to hospital and that we would get in touch.

got to hospital and was still bleeding not a lot but enough to worry me. waited for my room we had best room in the house. next door to the room we delivered Lucy in, but this one was made over into state of the art delivery room. high tech.

once i was settled in exam was done i was was at 4 cm & 70 % effaced. not bad. that was around 5 am ish. 6 am Dr. Rockstar got in he was bummed i didn't wake him up at 3 am with my call. if only all Dr. were so freaking COOL! (i am sure his new wife would have loved that wake up call) anyway around  9 am ish Dr. Rockstar does another check an NO change... writes orders to start pitocin. he'll be back around 1pm to deliver me he has to do clinic hours across the street. no sweat i am only 4cm 1 pm shouldn't be a problem. then in come DR. Hellraiser. morning how you feeling pleasantries etc. i say bleeding scary, he says not to worry about it can be normal for labor. PHEW! slight headache and my BP is a little on the high side but still not unusual given my history. lay on left side to relive some of this.

Pitocin starts to kick my ass around 10am.  i ask for Epidural casue the back pain is not making me a nice girl i think i cussed out watson for not knowing i was having a contraction in one of those low growl voices like demon... scary scary cris.

10:30am Epi was a breeze the Dr. that placed it was super fantastic and was kind enough to stop my pitocin while i was getting the epi. Bless you kind man. 

shortly after that maybe 1 hour my Bp was up again, so back on my left side i went...
... then around 12:30 the baby had some decels and my uterus was contracting like crazy so they stopped the pitocin and put me on oxygen... tried to staycalm and not worry have the best Dr.s on the planet.

shortly after that they check me and i was 10cm and +2 baby was good to go water not broken but leaking. OK must call mom & Nan and tell them to giddy yup already or they'll miss it.

so now we find Dr. rockstar and tell him to come back (not me personally, as i couldn't walk was in labor and had an epi rememebr and certainly i had no cell service to call him.) he came over checked me,  ruptured my water, and said do you feel like pushing i said not really maybe in a few minutes.

he was like ok. i'm gonna grab a slice of pizza  i'll be back in a sec. Ok see you in 5 or so.

3 slices of pizza later i was ready to push... or i should say baby was crowning on its own. Drs. hellraiser & rockstar said i didn't need to wait for a contraction that i could just push and i did 1 small effective push and we had the head out OH baby. He was crying right away (yeah for good lungs) but the cord was around his neck loosly but all i heard was the cord is around the neck deliver through it... so i just concentrated on the crying i new that was good it meant the baby was breathing. one more small effective push and we heard... It's a boy! woohoot! cheers & tears all around. cord was also wrapped tight around his leg. watson cut his cord and my placenta delivered straight away again as the cord was getting cut i think.

beautiful perfect baby boy born on his own terms more or less. and his cry was the answer to many many prayers.



-- i haven't checked this for typos or errors it was hard to write but i will  someday just not now.



Friday, September 26, 2008

what's in a name


Owen Samuel Danger

What's in a name or more specifically what's in his name.

Watson and i had list of several names that we liked but in the end we settled on this name for a few reason. going to try and put some of it down here.

I/we wanted a name for this baby that had gravitas, weight and meaning... and it had to be fun and clever if possible.

Owen -- this was my Mom's surname.
The Name Owen: Its Origin and Legacy
By Jhood, published Dec 25, 2007

Owen is a Welsh or old Irish name derived from Latin Eugenius meaning "
Well-Born". Owen is pronounced O-en, or OH-en. The first syllable has more emphasis. The name is a variant of Eugene, and Gaelic variant for Eoghan. The meaning of the name in Welsh is young warrior, in Celtic it means young fighter. The word Originated as a loan word borrowed by the Welsh from the Latin and Greek before 500A.D.
When were were Pregnant with Lucy, Owen Henry was our one & only name for a boy. Coincidentally O. Henry was what we joked we would call that little baby if it was a boy which it  wasn't it was our Olive Lucy instead. the real O Henry was born on Sept 11th -- OSD shares his birthday.

Samuel -- this name came to me on a whisper one day. i had been researching names and i love old names and was looking for just the right out of fashion name i wasn't having much luck... then came the whisper. I had noticed that most of our Docs had biblical or hebrew names, James, Paul, Hadar and Sammy. that last one stuck with me... Sam, Sammy,  Samuel i looked up the meaning.
his name means God, from God, of God
I/we feel this baby was a gift to us from the universe. he had been prayed for by many  from long before he was conceived.  he had been cradled in my womb on prayers and thoughts of a safe arrival.  the name fit. It was as if whatever had gone wrong with the universe the day Lucy died had been made right the day he was born. that and it made Dr. Sammy D Rockstar smile when we said Samuel was one of our name picks.  which was nice too but mostly it was the God & Universe thing.


DANGER -- um DUH very cool.
n.
  1. Exposure or vulnerability to harm or risk.
  2. A source or an instance of risk or peril.
  3. Obsolete. Power, especially power to harm.
[Middle English daunger, power, dominion, peril, from Old French dangier, from Vulgar Latin *dominiārium, authority, power, from Latin dominium, sovereignty, from dominus, lord, master.]
actually this started as a clever little game between Watsy & I. Wats would say what about this name or that name... and i would make a face or laugh then i say what about Huckleberry Fion then he would make a face... and we would start all over again. when he offered up Danger it stuck. i liked it, he liked it, baby seemed to like it and it went with every name we put it with. so it was settled no matter it it was a boy baby or a girl baby Danger would be it's middle name.after all we had been through this past year. i figured Danger was  fitting name for this  little baby, it was a risk we took and  it paid off. so maybe having a risky middle name will keep him from harms way.

with a name that in part means warrior from God  i think we might be ok for now.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

week 2

we had some milestones this week. if we were still Prego Tuesday Sept 23 would have been 39 wk 3 days for Poppy (aka Owen Samuel). the gestational age at which Lucy died. We knew from the start that we would never again carry to 39 wk 3 days. but some how it still was a scary day to make it through. I am not sure how to explain it. i know he is already born but i was still worried.

 Today OSD turn 2 wks his physiology is developing into an infant. I can't remember all the timeline but neonates are not "infants" so to speak they are still fetuses for a time. i think it is like 4 wks more a less.

Part of me was holding my breath until we hit that magical number of 39wk 3days... like if we made it past that then all the worry would disappear. not so much, still worried but i get that the worry doesn't go away.

I know i haven't posted his birth story yet but he came on his own with just the tiniest bit of help after i had already gone into labor on my own. I was not induced.  I am one of those "lucky" women who's children take pity on her and come a little early on their own. 

*sigh* i just wish that 39 wk 3 days wasn't always going to be a gestational age i fear.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

newborn fun

i'm really silly and i was taking some silly pictures with the baby while he slept.
daddy i hope they make you laugh! we miss you.

today i eat, slept, pooped, and did it again.







Tuesday, September 23, 2008

some dangerous video... i hope.

he seems to be getting much stronger tries to hold his head up.
tummy time and lots of talking --i think it is talking.

he misses his dad and looks a little sad from time to time. 

anyway here you go me trying out my mom's video feature on her new camera...



Tummy time in the sun beam & a cute little fluffy g bum... 


more tummy time this is this early this afternoon.

enjoy! 

Monday, September 22, 2008

some things i don't want to forget

dangerous to leave momma alone while nursing she does silly things to my hair
i swear he has beautiful eyes... i just keep taking his pic with them closed.
i almost never smile in photos unless they are candid.
 i am happy don't let the expression fool you.

the other things  i don't want to forget.

When W & I work together we are unstoppable.

Wats is on a trip.  the circus offered him work in Boston for the week and as hard as it is for him to be away he is the only one working. the choice was sort of a no brainer. My goal this week is to journal each day so watson will have a record of this tiny magical little being that has consumed all our love and then some. My dad & mom are here to help out. 

OSD's umbilical stump fell off today, his circ. is healed and he had mini "bath" today rather than a wash cloth bath. he got his hair washed which was good because it was getting really oily. 

I think he has a cold. today he has been fussy and really only wanted to nurse or be held by me but i finally got him to really sleep around 8:30ish tonight and he is still sleeping and it is now 11:15 pm. so i suspect any minute he will wake up to eat.

these last few days have been tough. (i am not stupid i knew they would be) but i don't mean tough like i was unprepared i mean tough emotionally. i look at this tiny little baby and i realize that already he is different he is growing... my only other baby is frozen in time this baby is changing.

I have taken a photo of him each day since he was born. i hope to one day make a slide show for him that is him growing up. but right now i'll be glad if i remember to check my blood glucose   (like i forgot to do while i was writing this post!) 

but mostly i want to remember that i am a good parent, even when i cry or am sad i am still a good mom and i love this little boy, his dad and his sister more than air.

I miss you watson and i can't wait for you to come home so we can have some adventures with our tiny monster baby. 


Saturday, September 20, 2008

Week one recap (part two)

ADDING TO
Sunday Sept 13: our first visitors at home, Dash's p'rents came over to meet OSD.

Monday Sept 14: forgot to say went to the pediatrician per hospital Attending Pediatrician orders. OSD weighed 6 lbs 12 oz and measured 19.75" not bad. also he has jaundice... photo therapy for you little boy.

Wednesday Sept 17: eat sleep poop repeat, dad and OSD took a walking the courtyard. 

Thursday Sept 18:
  Dad to work and OSD & i had a day planned. took the bus to our Docs office cause momma forgot to have some forms completed the day she gave birth (silly me!) meet all my fans,
this is just a few if my gals!
OSD got held by about 30 different women... and didn't cry once!  we also delivered brownies that nana baked that morning at the request of mom to the High risk clinic, the regular OB clinic and to Labor & delivery. then we went to the WIC office for our 1st newborn appt. and momma got a very nice electric double breast pump from WIC & Medela because she is exclusively breast feeding. (OSD is a champ! he has a great latch and has since about 10 minutes after he was born. if you are PG and considering BFing i suggest skin to skin ASAP afterbirth to help with latch on.) when we got home Nana had left for a few days and it was just the 4 of us Dad, momma OL & OSD. chillaxin and soaking it all in. 
Dad read me my first book.  OSD slept through the night that night. 

that wraps up the first week.

OSD has his own blog now here.

I will be journaling for him there. if you want to be a reader email me or just comment and i'll add you. if you are a village member you can already view.


Friday, September 19, 2008

Week one recap (part one)

Owen Samuel was One week old yesterday. this is a recap of our week as a family.

Thursday Sept 11: Born then nursed
goop in the eyes hat on your head  swaddled tight and off you go.
got checked into the nursery and waited for mom to get her butt upstairs so he could eat.
dad checked on him many times while mom waited for the room to get ready...roomed in, and eat pooped sleep repeat all night long.

Friday Sept 12: Woke up early knew Dr. Sammy D Rockstar would be by to see me early in the am. we had a "procedure" to do.
this later in the day i am not smiling because they baby just had a procedure i was talking to watson.

after that Dad got sent home to catch some extra zzzzs.

we had a gazillion visitors and phone calls.  ok not a gazillion, but it felt like it. nana, Dr. rockstar, nurse nanny, and the lactation coach ang these guys were the only ones we snapped pictures with OSDK.

dr. hellraiser again  -- i think his hand is bigger than the baby?!?

were my nurses at? holla!

i had my blood taken and pretty much hung with the baby, who had a hearing test and saw the pediatrician.  that night we had awesome Pizza and i had a candy bar for the first time in MONTHS!

Saturday Sept 13:  Up early because today was going to be busy. Pediatrician, OBs, new clothes that were gigantic on our tiny baby, dad lost the car for few mins...but then he found it. PHEW! we were first to get discharged YEAH! and then We went home!

Monday Sept 14: sleep eat poop repeat until tomorrow, and us parents slowly catching up on sleep after that hospital stay...

Tuesday Sept 15: Dad had to go to work this day... it was tough, we missed him but he sent us this message from work.


to be continued...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Owen Samuel Danger


Born: September 11, 2008
2:20 pm
6lbs 13 oz
19.5 "

we are doing well i am exhausted so the birth story will have to wait but here is a picture (maybe 6) to hold you over.









Above Dr. Hellraiser

Dr. Sammy D Rockstar

Nurse Colleen the Red


Getting dress to go home



Sleepy boys in the sunshine



Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Amnio test results

are in 

positive for lung maturity...

i need sleep and a sedative of some kind because i am terrified.

tomorrow 8 am induction.


amnio day

this is how our day went...
slept in late (sort of i was up at 5am but went back to sleep) woke up around 10 ish
brushed teeth 
ate breakfast- pancake (yes just 1) and egg and 1.5 slices of bacon and 1/4 of a nectarine.
brushed teeth again ( yes this is a fact  when i am prego my teeth BUG me to no end)
showered (oh what i would give for a magical shave thingy that would make this easier during Pregnancy)
got dressed (good thing too cause the sight of me au natural is... let's say not for the faint of heart)
gave out my "rules for the next few days"
  • under no circumstance are you to make any noise that might be considered a sound effect for pain. or else you will be kicked out of the amino ( this means you too watson)
  • I may not be much fun during induction if for some reason you get on my nerves i will kick you out it is not because i don;t love you i just love me & my sanity more.
  • Getting kicked out is not the worse thing that can happen. take it as an act of mercy if you know me and my temper you might be better off out of the reach of my vicious tongue.
left for Clinic
rode in car to clinic, don't think i yelled at watson in the car once (ok maybe once)
got to the clinic a few mins late
then we waited 
played with mom's cell
and waited
played with the ipod 
and waited  after about an 1.5 hours we were called in....
we got in the room i made MOm sit in one chair and watson sit in another... Just in case.
quick sono to check heart rate.
in come the Docs. not 1 not 2 but 3 of our 5 Docs were there.
in attendance Dr. D (Rockstar Chief Resident), Dr. W (perinatalogist #2 i have 2 that are supervising my case), Dr. H (Resident in High Risk clinic). Watson, my mom and the MJ the sonographer me and the poppy (DUH)

The ACTUAL procedure:
sono to find a good pocket of Amniotic fluid
Dr. W does first pass find a pocket he would push with one finger on my belly when he found a pocket on the the screen to see where if the pushing would correspond on the screen.  Then Dr. D & Dr W switched places so Dr. D could do the "TAP" (that is OB speak for an amnio)
Dr. H was great distractor, we like her a lot, but Dr. D wanted to do the procedure.
once a good pocket was found my belly was swabbed with betedine and a one of those blue plastic cloth type surgical drape thing that stick to you with a 6" x 4" "window" in it. 
Sono doppler in one hand and back on belly needle in other hand
the poke it self was not so bad i watched the monitor. i used few relaxation techniques for the stick. not so bad.
it did take a few seconds to collect the fluid but not too long. few deepish breaths and it was over.
Dr. W said "Looks mature" 
the other two said  i did great and that they hoped to see me tomorrow and some other small talk. we asked again what exactly we need to have the induction.
we need positive lung maturity of 3.5 or higher (because of the Gestational diabetes) and PG+  (this is some kind of lipid found in amniotic fluid when the fetus is mature) 
off they went then, MJ came over and  clean up my belly did another quick sono to check heart rate post amnio
then down the hall we went to the the second part of the procedure a NST to confirm the baby hasn't gone into distress.
my BP was up a bit for me 120/80 not terrible especially considering i had just had a 6" needle stuck in my belly.
on the monitor for 20-30 mins...
baby was perfect. even had a few small contraction while i was there... WOOHOO.
Dr. W came in to check the tracing (more OB speak.)
he said "you can't ask for a more perfect reading"
no real restictions. relax and wait. and hope for good numbers.

from there we went to lunch 
the cemetery to visit Lucy
then i said let go by the mall for a walk around
then we hit a small farmers market
called A (it's her birthday today she is 7)
stuck my finger to check my Bg --141. YIKEs! i guess super cheese Quesidilla, w/ beans, steak & No veggies not a good meal option for a girl with GD oh well)
came home 
and here we are 
I spoke with a different Dr. H at 9 pm and my results aren't in yet... so we continue to wait....

in the mean time check out this belly shot!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

37weeks

Friday's NST was great.
2.5 hours of Braxton Hick contraction that night... fun fun fun.

SAT Officially Full term- 37wks
Sun not to exciting
Monday on self imposed bed rest to rest up for possible thursday induction

today Tuesday 
BPP great!
Exam reveals i am now 2cm 50% effaced. yeah for progress!

and Dr. H (awesome OB #2) stripped my membrane to help things along.. Effective i have been having a few contractions since we left. yeah baby!

Amnio: tomorrow afternoon Rockstar Dr. D will being doing the procedure
results by 9pm. *hint check back here around 10pm EST if you can't wait for an update.
Induction: thursday 8am

fingers crossed and many tears have been shed this week. on a personal note i am terrified.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

36w3d

last week BBP was good and NST was hard work I spent almost an hour chasing this bittty monster all round my uterus.  then it got hiccups which i have to say sound like the hiccups you and i get out side... WILD! i tell you just wild.

BPP today was good.
weight: aprox. 6 lbs 13 oz

Amnio date: YUP 8 days away!
Induction date: only if i don't go on my own... cause the good news is I am 1cm 50% effaced...

funny moment today...
Dr H to us: hey we may not need to induce your 1cm & 50%  and i can feel the baby's head... 
me: Yeah baby! i thought this baby dropped this weekend i could feel the difference
watson: HUH? really? already? 

So place your bets folks get them in now... will i or won't I?

Tomorrow Nana comes! yeah Nana!