The Things We've Handed Down

this song came to us by way of a musician friend. I can't find it to add to my playlist here but if you are embarking on a subsequent pregnancy after loss or maybe you are just having a difficult pregnancy period. but this some both made me smile and cry. it touch my heart. so i bought the song from itunes to add to my collection.

The Things We've Handed Down
by Marc Cohn

Don't know much about you
Don't know who you are
We've been doing fine without you
But, we could only go so far
Don't know why you chose us
Were you watching from above
Is there someone there that knows us
Said we'd give you all our love


Will you laugh just like your mother
Will you sigh like your old man
Will some things skip a generation
Like I've heard they often can
Are you a poet or a dancer
A devil or a clown
Or a strange new combination of
The things we've handed down


I wonder who you'll look like
Will your hair fall down and curl
Will you be a mama's boy
Or daddy's little girl
Will you be a sad reminder
Of what's been lost along the way
Maybe you can help me find her
In the things you do and say

And these things that we have given you
They are not so easily found
But you can thank us later
For the things we've handed down

You may not always be so grateful
For the way that you were made
Some feature of your father's
That you'd gladly sell or trade
And one day you may look at us
And say that you were cursed
But over time that line has been
Extremely well rehearsed
By our fathers, and their fathers
In some old and distant town
From places no one here remembers
Come the things we've handed down

sono picures

A full body shot. the baby's leggs are ticking straight up and it looked like it was doing pilates while getting the sono done.

trying to put it's hand in it's mouth

the profile close up

two more profile shots

we were 12w5d when these were taken. FHR was 174 and we don't know the sex so there you go.

next sono is i don't know in the next month or so maybe more. next check up is 4/10/08

Prenatal check ups and Perinatalogist

we had our Perinatalogit visit on Friday last week, where they laid out the whole plan.
checks every few weeks for the next bit
nuchal fold test & quad screen next week @ 12 wks
Fetal echo week 19-20 the again later i think i should have taken notes.
Dopplers to check blood flow to the baby. different than the Doppler to check FHR
weekly sonos starting around week 30
weekly NST starting around week 30
Amnio at 37 wks to check lung maturity then deliver at 38 weeks if it looks good.


all of my most recent blood work came back perfect even my early Glaucous test came back perfect. my one thing that was a red flag is my Cystic Fibrosis gene screen came back i am a carrier so they are testing watson.

next check up is this Thursday.

thanks you all for the positive vibes an prayers and support.

Chapter 2.2

If the first chapter of your life is your childhood, chapter 2: adulthood, Chapter 3: marriage, Chapter 4: Children

then we are chapter 4.3
but in the book of grief we are in

Chapter 2.2

This is the chapter where you have successfully gotten pregnant after a loss and are Figuratively holding your breath for 9 months while you beg and plead with the universe to not let it happen again.

You be come even more neurotic about your pregnancy and who you plan to tell when because you must preface it with the following:

We are NOT over our loss

Then quickly follow it up with

but we are pregnant again and very excited about the possibility of bringing home our baby this time around.

then you go through the usual list of suspect questions.

• how far along are you?
• when are you due?
• have you been sick?
• do you know what your are having?
• are you happy?
  

But it seems that amongst the usual suspects those of us like me should also be prepared for a specialized section of question for subsequent pregnancy after loss. the "OMG i can't believe you asked that question or made that comment"

• well it's about time!
  
• thanks goodness now your life can get back to normal.
  
• well what does the doctor say?
• will this one live?
  
• are you ready for this?
• well now you'll get to be parents.
• When i had my baby after... insert early miscarriage story told by random stranger
• it's a good thing you have an angel watching over this pregnancy (really that makes a difference are you freaking SURE!)

we haven't gotten to many of these comments, Thanks to fact that we have told almost no one well ok that isn't exactly true we have told lots of people in our support groups and our online grief network. but in real life we haven't told many people. it is getting harder for me to hide my belly so now i will need to tell people soon.

it has also been 6 months since we lost lucy and we are sure we are going to start to get the move on vibes from folks for sure now.

We have a heart beat...

Unofficially that is, i not only saw the poppy seed's heart beat i heard it too.

all because of a blood test i had on Jan 25. it was for Progesterone & beta HCG. so the blood work confrimed Pregnancy. But it also was cause for minor concern. My Progesterone was a little low, just under 10 so I was scanned to check placement, so my OB could give me a Rx for Prometrium, a progesterone supplement.

OK POPPY SEED now grow big and strong just like your sister.

edited to include

i was already having some morning sickness and now it is a little more intense. It does seem like each day my body get a bit more used to the supplements.

My next Official OB visit is on 2/14 and that morning we will have our OFFICIAL 1st trimester scan.

to wait or not to wait

... that lasted a few days. we called my family last night.

now i just need to make it through the next 36 weeks (4 weeks PG-- will most likely deliver early)

my first Prenatal check up is on 4/14/08... I will be nearly 8 weeks